And when you have divorced your women......Allah-SWT knows you do not know.
How should the divorced woman be treated? The Quran asserts that after divorce a woman neither becomes so helpless that her opinion is given no importance nor does she become a symbol of bad omen to be deemed a burden by her family. In fact she is the same human being she was prior to her divorce. She has her self-respect, which remains unaffected by the mishap of divorce on grounds of incompatibility. Indeed after waiting period is over; neither her first husband nor her guardians have the right to prevent her from second marriage.
And if she decides to remarry her first husband, her guardians must not stand in her way, provided both agree in accordance with the dictates of Shari’ah. The term, Bil M’aruf means that no party should be forced or compelled into anything nor should the woman be pressurised. Both man and woman should be willing and inclined to remarry and this willingness should have the approval of Shari’ah, i.e. it is a revocable divorce because in case of three pronouncements of the divorce they cannot remarry without pre-conditions discussed heretofore. Or if she wishes to marry another man, it must be done legally, unlike what happens in Europe where they simply begin to live together without marriage on the grounds that they have already tried formal marriage contract, and that now they are trying it without it, until as long as they desire. It is obligatory to stop such situations from arising. Or if she plans to remarry before the lapse of her waiting period, it is incumbent on the Muslim community in general and the guardians in particular to stop her from acting illegally. However, marriage in accordance with Shari’ah must not be stopped out of family ego or any greed etc. Such an attitude does not befit a Muslim, as his vision is much above the false traditions of this mortal world.
The Divine Ordinances are for the guidance of those who believe in Allah-SWT and the Day of Judgement, for whom the truth is what has been determined by Him-SWT and the real honour is that, which would redeem on that Day. This is that spirit of faith, which gives a person the courage to stop from acting against the truth and usurping anyone’s rights. He progressively adopts virtue, voluntarily and without any external pressure, merely to seek Allah-SWT’s Pleasure. This will be a sure key to success in both the worlds.
If, however, only the worldly conveniences are kept in view, even here the Divine Law is better and purer. For example, if someone tries to prevent a divorced woman (or a widow) from marrying again out of personal ego, it is quite possible that she might commit a mistake, which not only wrecks family honour, but also results in destruction through discord and feuds. Similarly if she is prohibited to remarry out of greed that too could lead to serious consequences; it is possible that in an endeavour for wealth one loses his life itself. Compelling anyone into going against the law of nature will always end in a fiasco.
Allah-SWT ’s Law is in fact nature itself. The acknowledgement of Allah-SWT’s Greatness to achieve eternal bliss is one thing, but the compliance with His-SWT Laws is also essential in order to run the affairs of the world in the best possible manner. His-SWT knowledge is comprehensive; He-SWT is fully Aware of all the facts pertaining to His-SWT creations, the natural instincts and the biological drives of every human being. On the contrary, man’s knowledge is limited, imperfect and based on speculations, which are more often wrong than correct.
And the mothers shall suckle.....and know that He-SWT sees all that you do.
The Term Of Suckling
For comprehensively discussing the relationship between spouses, the topic of children needs to be addressed. Allah-SWT lays down certain rules for the welfare of the offspring. In principle, it is the mother who is responsible to feed the infant for two years, unless there is a genuine lawful excuse. In a display of anger towards her husband if she does not feed the baby, she would indeed be a wrongdoer.
Here it is clarified that the period of suckling is two years. According to Imam Abu Hanifah-RUA, the Quranic Ayah: “And the bearing and the weaning is 30 months (46:15)” provides a pretext by which the children may be suckled for two and a half years, due to weakness etc. of the baby. Beyond this period the breast-feeding is, however, prohibited. It is the duty of a mother to feed her baby during the term of suckling without demanding any wages from her husband. At the same time it is his responsibility to provide for food and clothing to the mother as goes on in a happy and contented home. The estranged relations and the divorce must not be allowed to affect the child. The mother ought to feed her baby willingly and the father must provide for the mother, who can lawfully demand wages in case of divorce, provided it is a fair demand as may be made by any other fostering woman. The father in case of unfair demand will have the right to arrange a wet nurse to feed the baby. The rights of all the parties must be protected. For instance, whereas it is not proper for a mother to refuse feeding her baby it is also not permissible that she is forced, as she may be having a good reason for her inability to feed. In short a balance has been created in order to ensure the betterment of all the three parties.
In case of death of the father, it is incumbent on those who inherit from him to provide for the suckling of the child in proportion to the share they receive. Imam Abu Hanifah-RUA asserts that when the responsibility of arranging for the suckling of an orphan child is upon the heirs, then they are also responsible to maintain the child until maturity as the aim in not only to suckle but to maintain the orphan. If the grandfather and the mother are alive, they are the heir of 2/3 and 1/3 respectively and shall bear the maintenance of the child proportionately. Similarly the grandfather has the right to make a will in favour of an orphan grandchild from his property, a share even bigger than those of the sons. According to the rules of inheritance, a grandchild cannot inherit anything in the presence of sons, as a distant relative cannot surpass a closer one. But by making a will, neither the law is defied nor the grandchild is deprived.
If the twain mutually agree to stop suckling before the expiry of two years for reasons of the mother’s or the baby’s health or for any other valid reason, they are allowed to do so. If they decide to hire a wet nurse to feed the infant, they are permitted provided the wages of the wet nurse are settled before hand and the payment is made promptly. The condition of mutual agreement of the parents is probably imposed to ensure the welfare of the child and it is the duty of the parents to provide the child a good upbringing. “Fear Allah-SWT ” i.e. do not try to play with the life of an innocent in any likely tussle. Neither should the mother refuse to feed the baby without any valid reason nor should the father take away the child just to vex the mother. In all such matters, fear Allah-SWT and obey Him-SWT and remember that He-SWT is aware of all your actions.
And as for those who die.....Allah-SWT is Ever Forgiving, Most Forbearing.
In the context of the above discussion, there can be another situation. If the husband dies, the widow must observe a waiting period of 4 months and 10 days, during which she must not adorn herself with perfumes, make up, henna or lamp black, etc. nor should she wear fancy or colourful dresses. She should not stay the night at any other house. The same applies to the divorced woman. She must not leave the house even during the daytime except for a highly compelling reason, nor should she talk of a second marriage during the waiting period. Thereafter she may remarry according to Shari’ah and no one has the right to stop her. Similarly no one should send a proposal in her waiting period, nor should any promises be made in this context. However, a statement by implication or an indirect troth is permitted. Secret messages or meetings during the waiting period are forbidden. It is possible to hide things from the people but not from Allah-SWT , Who-SWT is well aware of what lies in the bosom. Therefore, always fear Him-SWT and seek His-SWT Forgiveness if a mistake is made. Do not become bold if He-SWT relents because of His-SWT Compassion but always obey Him-SWT in every detail.
This code of Islam is the most effective. Not only it commands the ruler to enforce the law but also bids all the Muslims to exert for upholding the law. At the same time it keeps on reminding the individual of his relationship with Allah-SWT , that he can evade the Government or may deceive the society but can neither hide from Allah-SWT nor conceal his intentions from Him-SWT . It is not only a matter of reputation in this world but also that of accountability on the Day of Judgement, which must be kept in view in all aspects of mutual dealings.